|Top // Stylemint (worn here, similar here); Skirt // Talbots (similar here); Bracelet // Target (similar here); |
Necklace // J. Crew Factory (worn here, similar here); Reva Ballet Flats // Tory Burch
After passing a display of dead plants and what I can only guess was a gang of large people in sweat pants sitting outside comparing various types of cookies with one another (who hangs out on the bench outside Walmart?!?!), it only took us five minutes to find what we needed. The real fun began when we started our half hour journey on the checkout line. I knew it was going to be bad when I realized there were only three lanes open....and one was devoted to the sale of cigarettes. The woman in front of us was priceless: sweat pants, off-brand pink Crocs, over sized Tweety bird t-shirt, topped off with what I can only assume was a blond squirrel's nest on her head. The smell of cigarettes and cheap vodka stung my eyes. I am actually sad I did not capture her for People of Walmart. However, her appearance paled in comparison to the awesomeness of her cart: bleach, personal Totino's pizza, one gallon of ice cream and a 2 liter bottle of Coke. The Scot simply turned to me and said: "Looks like someone is having a party." I shouldn't judge. I am sure my shopping cart would look pretty similar, except it would contain at least two bags of cat food. It's a good thing the lines were so long because Tweety had enough time to second guess her choice of Heath Bar ice cream and replace it with Oreo birthday cake ice cream. I think she made the right choice. I condemn her outfit, but I celebrate her ice cream choice. I should let the Scot know that I will attend any party that includes pizza and Oreo birthday cake ice cream. I really need to find out what Tweety is doing this weekend.
I went to my happy place in order to drown out the sound of the child behind me begging her mom for every item on the "As Seen on TV" display near the register...only to realize that this mother with a nose ring and tramp stamp was the child's grandmother. And seriously kid, why do you need a Snuggie? Or a pillow shaped like a giraffe? Oh, that pillow lights up? Nevermind, you were right to whine.
And just to top it all off, our check out lady just abandoned her post once we got close to the front of the line. I think she may have given it all up and went to pick up an application for Target.
Why is the Walmart near my apartment the center of hell? And the world capital of tramp stamps? I actually thought they just gave you a free lower back tattoo with every purchase based upon what I was seeing. Where do these people come from? I have never seen any of these people in my neighborhood outside of the Walmart.
So, when I came home, this happened:
I did a little Q&A over at The Tiny Heart today. Go check it out!