Penniless Socialite: Panama!

View of Panama City

Imagine the title of this post shouted in my best David Lee Roth impression. The Scot and I decided to skip the end of winter in New Jersey and jetted off to Panama for some ~~fun in the fun~~ avoidance of the Zika virus. Yeah, we booked the vacation before that whole nonsense started. So, we tried to stay close to the city and didn't take any off the beaten path excursions. The intent of the trip was to relax and drink mojitos. You may want to put off going to Panama for awhile because I may have depleted their rum reserves.

Miraflores Lock

Miraflores Lock

We did some tourist-y stuff and hired a guide to take us around the city. We were some pretty basic bitches and, of course went to go see the canal. It's boats hauling stuff...but, to be honest, kind of amazing and interesting. I was a bit in awe of how effortlessly the locks raise and release the boats. I won't give you a history or engineering lesson on the canal, you can just refer to Wikipedia.

Goethals Monument

We saw the Goethals monument...commemorating the guy who finished the canal ahead of schedule and under budget. I love a good monument to efficiency. I bet this guy made as many post-it note lists as I do.

View from Ancon Hill

Lilly Pulitzer Elsa Top (similar) | Banana Republic Jeans (similar) | Kate Spade Sandals (similar)

We hiked (yes I said hiked) up to Ancon Hill, the highest point in Panama City. The view was beautiful...as was my back sweat. And of course I find the resident hill cat.

Besides relaxing and drinking all of the mojitos, my goals for the trip also included seeing some monkeys and sloths. I was told that the best time to see them was early in the morning. SO, I got up at the butt crack of dawn...like before the sun. And went over to the Metropolitan National Park. (We ran out of time to take a long excursion to a better rain forest because we had to include a day at the U.S. Embassy in our trip due to someone forgetting his green card.)

However, all I saw were some lizards, weird trees, a bird, and the illusive jungle Scot.

After standing like an asshole for 2 hours creeping silently through the forest, we ventured back to the hotel and I Googled "best place to see sloths in Panama City." And apparently, the Smithsonian research station 15 minutes from our hotel is the best place. And the $5 entrance fee delivered a tree dripping with sloths.

This is David Lee Sloth and Hillary Slothman Clinton. The let me get right up in their faces with the camera. (Also, two David Lee Roth references in the same post...BOOM!)

This is either David Hasselsloth or Archbishop Desmond Twotoe. The Scot and I could not agree on a name for him.

So, yes, after seeing these little guys we promptly went to a bar and made up sloth names for the rest of the day.

Lilly Pulitzer Dress (similar) | Jack Rogers Sandals | Loren Hope Cuffs | Kate Spade Watch

The highlight of the trip for me was Casco Viejo, the old city. It's one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. The entire area is a World Heritage site and the pace at which all of the gorgeous architecture is being meticulously restored is dizzying. If you don't mind a lot of construction and love great food and drinks...this is the place for you. The Scot and I spent an entire day popping in and out of bars, restaurants, and old churches. Surprisingly, the cuisine of Panama is very cosmopolitan. I ate some of the best pizza, vegetarian food, and empanadas I've ever had all in the same city!

I loved our getaway to Panama City, but 4 days was simply not enough. The food is wonderful, worldly, and affordable. The scenery is breathtaking. The weather is beautiful And my Spanish is terrible.